Freedom
by LiteratiAngel
Summary: Lit. One-shot. I wonder where he is right now. Probably staying in Luke’s apartment. He stops there occasionally when he can’t get home but tonight is different. Tonight, it’s his choice to stay away. Rory's POV. Reviews are love!


**Freedom**

**Disclaimer: Ha! I wish!**

**A/N: Just a quick one-shot. I was in the mood to write something with a twist and, unfortunately, this is the best idea I could come up with. Oh well, I'm hoping that the writing makes up for it but, of course, only you, my wonderful readers, can make this decision so remember...reviews are love!**

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Sleep eludes me. I wish I could make sense of the jumble of thoughts in my head but, as my mother would say, it's a big bag of weird in there.

I turn over and run my fingers across the groove in the bed. It's still warm and smells faintly of his aftershave. It's nice to have the covers to myself for once.

Still, it feels wrong not to have him beside me. It's quite chilly tonight. If he was here, that wouldn't be a problem 'cause it's like sleeping next to a furnace. But tonight, I have to shiver.

I wonder where he is right now. Probably staying in Luke's apartment. It's been his little bachelor pad since the wedding 'cause Luke doesn't need it anymore. He stops there occasionally when he can't get home but tonight is different. Tonight, it's his choice to stay away.

I keep thinking of all the things that will change. How everything will be different. He won't be in and out of my life as he has been. No more snatched book debates, no more spontaneous visits. I suppose I should learn to see change as a good thing but right now, here in the dark, my doubts creep up on me, catching around my throat, suffocating me until that's all I can think about. Is this what they mean by cold feet?

I wonder if he's thinking about me but then I feel stupid. Why would he? It's all sorted out now, right? We've made a mutual decision and now we're gonna carry through with it. It all sounds so cold when you put it like that but cold is how I'm feeling right now. I need him beside me, his warm arms closed around me, holding onto me as if I'm the only person in the world who he needs.

There are some nights when I bury my face in his chest…and I fall asleep there. I like it best when he winds his fingers in my hair and kisses me…because he can.

~*~

Sleep almost catches up with me and I wonder what makes me doubt so much. And then I realise that it's just me. Pro/con lists have always been my solution to everything but this needed no deliberation. That scares the hell out of me. I hate that he's not here with me.

My last night as a single woman. My last night of freedom. My last night as Rory Gilmore.

I never expected him to propose, but there he was, down on one knee, asking me to marry him. To be his forever. Mrs Rory Mariano…mmm…I like the sound of that. Always did. It covered several pages of my notebooks as a teenager, more than were ever devoted to Dean.

Who would've thought that Jess Mariano, Stars Hollow's very own hoodlum, would be such a traditionalist?

I mean, the whole not-seeing-the-bride-before-the-wedding thing? Old news, right? But he wants to do things by the book. He never had a proper life, growing up. Don't get me wrong, I love Liz, she's just the right amount of crazy for me but Jess was, and still is, a damaged boy.

But he's _my_ damaged boy.

~*~

I know that I'm not gonna sleep tonight so I kick the covers away and climb out of bed. My wedding dress is hung casually on the back of our bedroom door, glittering faintly in the moonlight. Ivory satin. Fragile. Beautiful. My mom did an amazing job.

I vaguely remember my grandmother telling us how, every night for a week in the run up to her wedding, she would try her wedding dress on. I also remember my mom breaking it off with Max because she didn't want to do that every night and that meant that she didn't love him enough. Or something along those lines, anyway.

I slip into the fabric. It zips up easily and falls in a smooth wave down my body.

I don't think I've ever looked this good.

~*~

Mrs Rory Mariano…mmm…I like the sound of that.


End file.
